- lessons in life -

Over the past few years I have grown so much as a person. I have laughed harder than I have ever laughed before. I have smiled harder than I have ever smiled before. And I've also cried harder than I have ever cried before. And through it all, I have learned some important life lessons.

I have learned...

 that nothing will melt your heart more than a hug, or a smile, or a kiss from your child

no matter how "child proof" you think your marriage is, things change after having kids. It's then, that it's most important to guard your marriage and make a real effort to keep it fresh and happy.

that 2:00 in the morning, when your 3 year old is once again wide awake, is the worst time ever to try to talk calmly to your spouse. Being overtired will cause you to unnecessarily snap at each other. It's best to leave the conversation alone until you are more rested and you are thinking with a clear head.

that sometimes Google, and the doctors, and all of those parenting books will not have the answer as to why your child is doing what she is doing or acting the way she is acting. Children are just little people...they have their own personality just like you and me. Sometimes the answer is really "that's just how she is" and that's okay!
 

that it is so so so easy to judge, but is so hard to be judged.

that sometimes its okay to stop and enjoy the moment....usually more than sometimes!

that some friends are just "circumstantial" friends, and some are lifelong friends. And there is a big difference between the two. Circumstantial friends you often see a lot of, but once a particular circumstance changes (You move out of the neighborhood or they get a different job. You have a baby or they have another baby. Your interests change or they get a new hobby), you'll start seeing them less and less and the friendship will begin to fade. Lifelong friends are those amazing friends that you can see every week, or go months and months without seeing, and nothing ever changes. And even if your circumstances change tremendously, your friendship will never change.

that I just don't have time to do it all. I have to let go of something. Recently, it has been this blog. It might be something else further down the road. But in the end, I am not superwoman, and I need to prioritize and let some things go.

that my baby girl's smile always, always, always makes everything okay...

Image credit Nina S.

- so very true -

Oh so true....so very true!

- to kill a mockingbird...well, not quite, but almost -

If any of you guys knew Matt and I about five years ago, you would know the story of the mockingbird that lived outside of our condo (back when we lived in a very urban part of town)...and sat on the telephone wire by our bedroom window, and sang...every night...loudly. It drove us CRAZY! Matt was so determined to scare it away, that there were quite a few nights he would actually get his shoes on, and chase that darn bird across our alley and into other condo complexes parking lots...all while holding the BB gun that our friend lent us to scare the bird away (yes scare, not hurt or kill). And you can imagine when he did that, although it was pretty comical, I was always pretty scared that someone would call the cops on him, thinking he was running loose with a gun in his hand (picture a crazy, sleep deprived man, running after a tiny bird...that most people wouldn't even notice...He would be jumping over parking lot walls and charging down the alley...shouting a vulgarity here and there, and holding a gun...yes a BB gun, but a gun nonetheless!) But I'll tell you, that bird was a stubborn one...and would come back EVERY NIGHT. It was so loud when it sang, and it sang all night long! We tried white noise, music, ear plugs...everything! This went on for at least 3-4 months, and then one day, the bird just disappeared and never came back! Hooray!!!

But ladies and gentleman, you will never guess what has made it's way to our yard...and has been "singing" every night as loud as can be?? Oh yes, another mockingbird! And the kicker? He's placed himself right outside of Ellie's window...yes, to sing loudly to my 3.5 year old who already is a crappy sleeper! Why thank you Mr. Mockingbird, for choosing our yard, and for choosing her window to perch outside of! Cause this momma never really wanted to get any sleep anyways, right? Sleep is overrated...and nature and all that it entails is such a beautiful thing, right?? UGH!

I love nature, I love animals, I love everything and anything outdoors. But really Mr. Mockingbird? You're waking my child up, keeping her up once she is awake, and keeping me up once she finally falls back asleep!

According to Wikipedia, only the male mockingbirds sing at night, and they are one of the only birds that ever choose the night to sing. And why are they singing? Well, to find a mate, of course!

"Dear Mr. Mockingbird, while I know most females think it's utterly romantic to be sung to, I will be more than happy to show you some quieter ways to find a suitable mate! I'm pretty sure my husband didn't sing to me at all hours of the night, and I still fell head over heels in love with him. So I promise you lonely little bird, there are other ways to attract your soul mate! Tonight, I will even gladly leave my laptop outside for you, and you can try your hand (or beak..ha ha ha) at online dating. It's a much quieter way to find a mate, and my child and I will be much happier and so much more well rested! Sincerely, one tired momma that has already had her share of mockingbirds in her life to deal with"

Image credit carolinabirds.org

*disclaimer - I would never really "kill a mockingbird"...although, I HAVE laid in bed many nights this past week scheming...because I have not much else to do at 2:30 a.m.!

- this world -

this world is filled with hate

this world is filled with destruction...

...it's sad, and scary.

I am just one person, how can I make a change?

I can touch the peoples lives around me with love. 

I can share, and help.

but most importantly, I can teach my daughter how to love, how to care

how to accept people despite their differences

how to handle disagreements with words, rather than violence

how to spread her love around her, and make a difference in other people's lives.

I can make a change, even if it's just in one person's life...

Please wear a red heart of some kind to show Boston we care. ♥

- throwback thursday -

This is still one of my very favorite videos ever of Ellie!! Enjoy! :-)

- it's life -

and it's impossibly complicated
 especially when I...

...fall too fast
crash too hard
care too much
forgive too easily
miss people I shouldn't
worry over nothing
give too much
expect too much in return...

- I'm thankful -

Today I'm thankful for...

- a three year old that had an extremely rough week but is finally starting to "sort of" act like herself...after a horrible bout of the stomach flu...i.e, vomiting for 12 hours straight :-(

- my amazing mother who was right there by my side while I sat with my daughter on my lap for over 14 hours...because she only wanted me. My mom helped me out so much...bringing me food, bringing more towels....washing the "soiled" towels...I couldn't have survived those 2 days without her!

- a completely selfless friend who texted me every hour to check in with me, and who offered to help me out in any way she could, including running to the store to get us much needed pedialyte and broth....even though BOTH of her kids were sick with ear infections and she'd have to drag crabby kids through the store and then over to our house.

- the fact that we get a day of wine tasting tomorrow...because heck... I need a day of wine after this week

- a job that is very flexible when my kid comes down with the stomach flu...I may work for a smallish company, and I may not get paid as much as I could earn if I worked more corporate...but I have the most amazing flexibility at this company that I just can't give up. If I HAVE to work, it has to be at a place that understands that I WILL stay home for 2+ days straight because my kiddo is sick.

- for my awesome hubby, who let me kick him out of our room, and slept on the blow up guest bed, so that my sick baby and I could get some rest (because let's face it...he's a pretty restless sleeper, and we needed a quiet room! I still love you babe...restless sleeping and all!!!)

- I'm gonna be honest here...I am so thankful right now that we don't have two kids so we didn't have to deal with both kids being sick. I don't know how some of you amazing momma's with multiple kids out there do it, when they just pass the sickness back and forth!

- that Matt and I somehow didn't catch the bug!!



This was the first night of the stomach flu...her, finally sleeping on the mattress in our room, after all of the pretty white blankets were stripped, and it was transformed into the "sick bed". Please note the towels everywhere...but most importantly...she slept! Because after 12 hours of what she went through, what else could she do? I, on the other hand, did not sleep...I had one eye on her all night. And that was after being up at 5:00 in the morning that day with the first bout of "the bug"...(and please excuse the crappy iPhoto pics!)

**disclaimer...I know that we've been very lucky this season, and have avoided most of the bad viruses. I know that we should be counting a million lucky stars that this is the first time Ellie's been sick this entire season...because I know what some of you mom's have been dealing with month after month! But no mom likes to see her baby sick...so this week was a rough one for me. But I am thankful it is over...and it could have been a lot worse!!