- letting go -

I am FINALLY starting to embrace this after putting myself through so much emotional turmoil for most of this year...constantly looking behind me and refusing to let things go and accept that I had lost certain things...relationships had changed...my feelings and emotions were just different.  But now when I look around, I am able to see what's around me right now, in the present...sweet, caring friends, amazing adventures, and a wonderful family. I refuse to look over my shoulder any longer! My present and my future are standing right in front of me... its time to give that my attention, rather than people and things and hurts from the past.

And it truly feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder! Here's to a wonderful present, and an even better future, now that I have learned to just... let it go!

- her first day of preschool -

I've been dreading it and have been anxious about it for a long, long time. Ever since I started the obsessive search for the perfect preschool for Ellie, I have been dreading the day that she starts, only because that means my little baby is growing up! But of course, I have also been excited for her to start this new adventure!

Ellie's first day of preschool was on Monday, and while I was super anxious about it, she actually did great! I am so proud of her! Ellie has always been a little more introverted, and she has never been dropped off anywhere alone before. We've been lucky enough to always have her watched at our house, so we've never needed to bring her to any sort of daycare. But it was time to put her in school...she was ready for it. There is only so much she can do at home! It's good for her, to be around the other kids, to learn to listen to a teacher. To learn social skills.

I definitely expected some tears, but she didn't even shed one. While she didn't run into the school and immediately start playing, she was very brave, and said she even liked it..."just a little". However, on Tuesday she said she "liked it a little more" and she promised me she would "like it even a little bit more" today!

I spend months and months searching for the perfect school for her (yes, I'm a bit obsessive when it comes to researching...anything and everything!) and I'm glad I was so persistent and kept looking, because it was actually one of the last schools I toured. Luckily they had a spot for her, and I feel really comfortable with her there. She's going to a very small, Montessori based school that has an extremely low teacher to child ratio. This means that she won't get lost in the crowd, and she will get plenty of one on one attention. The director is so nice and was so accommodating to the wacky schedule I was requesting. And she definitely likes her teacher already! She was giving her big hugs on day one!

While I know this means she is growing up, I am so proud of her and I'm so glad she is taking this huge step with such grace! I think overall, her and I both took it fairly well...although, I have a feeling dropping her off at kindergarten in a couple years might be a different story (at least for me!!)