- i am so thankful -

Monday evening, Matt and I got into a slight disagreement after Ellie went to bed. This slight disagreement quickly slid into a full blown argument (other married folks...you understand how this goes right?), where we were no longer even arguing about what started the disagreement. You know...the age old, "we all of a sudden were arguing about arguing". Needless to say, once we both got some things off our chest, we said our sorries and climbed into bed, both slightly frustrated still, and both extremely tired and still reeling from our argument.

Tuesday morning, I got a call from my dad. My step-brother, Rob, who lives in Florida, had another huge set back in his battle with his cancer, and faces an extremely tough decision regarding his next surgery. My step-brother was diagnosed with cancer a little over a year ago. What started out as a common, (and usually one of the easiest to treat), forms of cancer,  quickly spread into the aggressive Stage 4 cancer that it is now. In a year, his cancer has spread to his organs, and much of his digestive system. He had chemo and then surgery throughout this year. And then, we all thought the cancer was gone. But he recently found out that what they thought was just scar tissue from the surgery, is actually cancer again...it's back...with a vengeance. And his next surgery has a possibility of being risky, and possibly not being as successful as the first. His next surgery involves procedures, that in itself, could be life threatening, let alone who knows if it will actually eradicate the cancer (although all of us are only thinking positive!) Rob is a fighter with a strong spirit.  And Rob is only 37 years old. Yes, 37. I can't even fathom what this past year has been like for him.

This most recent round of tough news brought tears to my eyes.

I instantly thought about Matt and the fight we had the night before. The silly, ridiculous, petty fight. The fight that we were both so passionate about, but really, it meant nothing in the end.

I thought about my beautiful daughter, and how Rob still has yet to meet his step-niece.

I thought about how I have been so concerned with trivial things over this past year...like getting my feelings hurt by people in my life who created too much chaos anyways. Or whether or not people liked me or approved of the choices I made in my life. Or being stressed at work. While they might not seem trivial when you are in the moment...once you step back, it's all pretty trivial. Trivial compared to Stage 4 cancer at 37 years old.

I'm so very thankful for my life, for my blessings, for my health. For most of my days being fairly care-free...and even when they aren't, they could be so much worse.

I need to remind myself of this more.

I am so thankful for what I have, and I'm praying like crazy that soon enough my step-brother can be thankful for the miracle of a successful surgery and a cancer free body. We love you Rob!

Rob, and his wonderfully amazing girlfriend, Emery, who is by his side every step of the way!