Friday, May 6, 2011

- motherhood -

I had a truly long and not particularly good day at work yesterday. I really like my job and as much as I would love to stay home with Ellie, unfortunately, my job is still a necessity in our household. I don't usually have too many rough days at work, but yesterday was a doozy...

I got home just in time for bathtime, which Ellie loves. It made my day (well, that and a sweet Mother's Day card that was waiting for me in our pile of mail from a good good friend of mine)!

After putting her down for bed, I poured myself a much needed glass of wine, and reflected on how amazing motherhood is. The fact that a tiny human being can immediately erase all of the stressful things that happened in a day, just by looking at me with her sweet face and saying "Momma" truly amazes me. The old cliche is so will never, ever know what this kind of love feels like until you love your own child.

I'm not going to lie...the first few months were extremely hard with all of Ellie's reflux and digestive problems. Matt and I fumbled through those first months blindly and there were moments, late at night, when I hadn't slept in 24 hours, and Ellie had literally cried all day (I'm not exaggerating...she could cry ALL day) when I thought to myself, "What did we do...things were so much easier when it was just the two of us". I mean, our life was not one to complain about before we had Ellie. We had more freedom, we were selfish and lived for ourselves. We traveled all over the world, and went out every weekend, doing whatever we wanted. But the crazy love you get to experience once you have a child is worth the lifestyle change, and worth all of that crying and all of those sleepless was worth every bit of it! I know every parent says this, but as I am approaching my second Mother's Day, I just have to take some time to reflect, and to say it all again.

I am a stronger person because of Ellie. Motherhood has taught me the true meaning of sacrifice, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I sleep less, I put her needs first, I have learned how to function and be productive with her on my hip, I worry more. But in return, I get to see her learn new things, say new words, discover with such an innocent and sweet wonder. She has learned what makes us laugh, and she does silly things on purpose just to get us to smile or laugh at her. She rewards me for all my sacrifices by calling for me in the morning when she wakes up, or running into my arms when I get home from work.  Her deep belly laugh melts my heart every time I hear it...and I miss her when I am not with her. I am excited to see her every morning when I wake up. She has brought me and Matt closer, in a way I never knew existed. Together, Matt and I have become a team that is conquering the struggles of parenthood one step at a time, and together we are blessed with such an unconditional love. Yes, the "cliche" kind of unconditional love. The kind of love that everyone used to tell us about, and we would politely smile and nod our, we are those people, and I am loving every minute of it.

In less than a minute, my baby girl had melted away all of the stress and tension that I felt all day yesterday. Less than one minute is all it took. If that's not amazing, I don't know what is.

So, as my second Mother's Day is quickly approaching, all I can say is, Thank you Ellie, for giving me a gift no one else ever could. Thank you for giving me the gift of being a mom. I am so blessed to be your mom!

(Image copyrighted by Nina S.)


Mare said...
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Mare said...

Kyna, such sweet pictures! The bath picture alone would melt any stress. It's amazing how those little people have so much power. If they only knew. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day with your hubby and little one!

Dirt On The Rocks said...

THis is such a beautiful post. I definitely enjoyed reading this. I absolutely had a hard time with my child in the beginning and I felt the same way. I can definitely relate. Love the pictures as well.

Happy Mother's Day.

Stacey said...

Motherhood is definitely a sacrifice, but definitely worth it! Thanks for checking out and following my blog, I'm returning the favor. Hope you had a great Mother's Day. Take care!

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