We had a lot of intentions of being somewhat productive on the long weekend...getting some workouts in, fixing a few things in Ellie's room, planting a few new plants in the backyard...what really ended up happening though was a lot of just being lazy! Let me re-phrase that...actually, we were relaxing, lounging around, playing outside, and having good food and good fun with our friends. So much for being healthy, active, and productive! I'm not complaining though, it was glorious to be lazy for 3 full days!
We had lots of laughs, good food, and good wine with friends all weekend. On Sunday, I took this shot of my baby girl on the swings at our friend's house.
After looking at it again, I realized my baby girl is not a baby anymore! I mean, look at her, sitting in a big kid's swing, holding on just as she should. Makes me
But whenever that baby fever starts creeping in so does the apprehension. I mean, Matt and I know we want another baby. Two kids has always been the plan. It's weird though, after having one, how scared I am to have another one. I think the first time around I didn't know what to expect, and I was just so excited. Now, I am seriously remembering how hard Ellie was as a baby, and it kind of intimidates me to think about having another one. We had a very hard time with Ellie for the first 4-5 months between her reflux, and her protein allergies and all of her constant uncomfortableness and crying. Could I really do that all over again?? I know many, many mothers had it worse off than me with their babies. I am thankful and very grateful that all of Ellie's health problems were so minor, and that she completely outgrew them all within the first year. But it was still very difficult, and it wore me out..a lot.
Matt and I also always wonder what having two kids will be like... Ellie is so used to getting all of our attention to herself. She truly is the center of our world! It makes me almost a little sad to know that she won't be my baby anymore, and that she will have to share us with another little one!
But baby fever or no baby fever, I did tell Matt that I don't think I'm going to be ready for round 2 until after this summer. Two summers ago I was pregnant, and last summer I was still dealing with a refluxy baby and I was still breast feeding or pumping all day long! I really just need to enjoy this summer without a baby attached to my body for nourishment, either inside my belly or out! And as a good friend just recently reminded me...we should really take the opportunity to relish this time we have with just the 3 of us, just as Matt and I relished and embraced the time we had back when it was just the 2 of us. Family dynamics always change when you add a child, and we will never have this time back with just Ellie alone! So, we will take a couple vacations this summer, enjoy lots of family and friend time, and then leap back into the unknown and start trying to give Ellie a little brother or a little sister.
P.S.- For any of my followers, you can see that the "nicknames" for Ellie and my husband didn't last too long in my blog! It was just killing me how impersonal it was...and after giving it a lot of serious thought, I decided I am completely comfortable using first names only and sharing only watermarked and copyrighted pictures.