Thursday, January 24, 2013

- dear ellie -


My dearest Ellie-

One day, you will understand why we are working so hard to establish rules and boundaries in our house. One day, you will understand why we are the adults, and you are still the kid. One day, you will understand that if we just gave in and always gave you what you want, we wouldn't be instilling in you the traits you need to be a healthy, happy person that doesn't always need instant gratification. One day, you will understand that sleep is an important part of your development, both physically and mentally, and you will understand why we continually pushed and encouraged you to get your rest and sleep soundly. One day, you will understand that sometimes, a parent needs to be a parent and stand their ground. Not just sometimes, but a lot of times. It's our job to keep you safe, and healthy, and sometimes that doesn't always make you happy, but we are doing it for your own good. And yes, one day, you will have this same conversation with your son or daughter, and you will realize that your parents once said the same thing to you...and even though you swore you would never say the same thing to your kids, you will. Because every parent plays the same role in a child's life, and while some parents may differ with how they say it, we are all saying the same thing. Ellie, we don't say no to you to hurt you, or because we enjoy seeing you cry. It breaks our heart to see those tears. But Ellie, you WILL be a better person as you get older if you understand that you need to hear "no" once in awhile. That it's teaching you very essential skills in life.

But for now, my sweet girl, since you are only 3, and you don't understand any of this right now, we will keep seeing the tears, our hearts will continue to break, but we will continue forward...boundary setting, rule enforcing. And I promise you little one, you will be a better person in the end because of it...because of the effort we are putting into parenting you right now.

Keep smiling my little one...keep shining...and keep that strong, independent spirit that you have. It's causing a lot of heartache around our house right now, but I know I wouldn't have it any other way. I want you to be a strong, young lady. A spirited, young lady...but one that knows and understands rules and boundaries, especially when it's for your own good.

Keep smiling my little one...keep shining...and please always keep that fiery spirit, my little one...

Image credit Nina S.



14 comments:

Leah said...

this made me tear up. it's so hard being a parent sometimes, isn't it?
i hear you. sometimes i wish i could just give in, but i know it'd be doing damage to them. you're right, one day she will understand, just like we now see what our parents were doing when they instilled rules.
such a sweet post.

Kira said...

This is super sweet and so true. She is lucky to have a mom like you :)

Shannon said...

Gave me chills. Well done.

Sally said...

This is so sweet! Will be so cool when she can read these for herself years from now.

My little guy is only seven months old, so I love to see what mamas ahead of me are up to.

Love your blog, I'm your newest follower :))

www.sashon.blogspot.com

Katie said...

Gorgeous, my sweet friend. Just gorgeous.

Tani stevenson said...

So sweet- she will love this when she gets older.

Andrea {kerubo mama} said...

Hon, this was so beautifully written. You are one of the most wonderful mamas I know, so in tune with your daughter's personality, her strengths and weaknesses. I love how you gently set rules for her FOR HER OWN GOOD, realizing that you are giving her tools for becoming an incredible adult. I have much to learn from you, as our kids are very much the same. (as we both know!! We'll both have grey hairs to prove it! haha)
Ellie will change the world some day, I just know it!! With sureness and fire like that, and directed by loving parents, that is inevitable!
So much love to you, my friend! xo

The Egg said...

your photos are so dreamy!

xo the egg out west.

Marsa said...

so sweet <3
i don't have children yet but i can't wait to have "those moments" with them

-Marsa
The DayLee Journal"

Mrs. Pancakes said...

I love this because its so hard to set boundaries and have them crying but it's so true...it will all make sense someday! Awesome mom Kyna...this was a great letter!

sarah scott said...

So true, my friend. It's hard to discipline. Hard to set boundaries and stick with them. Hard to see the tears of frustration - from everyone - and keep going. But, it is so critical. And so valuable. And so worth it. I love that you value her independence and spirit. I value my own gal's spunky attitude and try to balance between setting boundaries and crushing what makes her "her". It isn't easy, but that's our job. Sounds like you are doing all the right things - and have years of payoff ahead with a wonderful, balanced child. Hugs to you mama!!

Miranda said...

you speak the total truth. i hate disciplining but i don't want my child to grow up without manners, control, and ethics. i have always told myself that it is ok if my child doesn't "like" me when they are growing up because they will thank me one day when they are adults.

Amy said...

Oh isn't this all the truth. I tell Brady all the time, he'll thank me when he's older. Love this post though

Christine said...

Well said mama! So so true... Some days it truly can be so hard to stay consistent and follow through and somedays i just want to cry, but you are right, it will all be worth it one day :)

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