Tuesday, August 23, 2011

- how transparent are you -

I read the most amazing post the other day written by the lovely Arielle Elise. It struck a chord with me and I realized this was a topic I have thought about many times before, even long before I had started my own blog, back when I was just a mere blog stalker. Her post was about being real and honest while blogging, being transparent, and choosing to share the good as well as the bad on your blog. It's harder than it sounds.

You see, here's the thing about blogging...when you create a blog, it's your blog. Your creation. You can do whatever you want with it. That's the beauty of blogging. So if you, as a blogger, choose to only share your happy moments and your triumphs with the world, that is your prerogative. But if you don't choose to share some of your "harder" moments in life on your blog, why not? Are you just trying to "portray" a perfect life to others, or are you truly just utilizing your blog as a way to capture and remember those happy memories and share them with family and friends, and it's not any more complicated than that. And as Arielle mentions in her post, does this set others up for discontentment in their own life? And if so, is this even your problem, or theirs?

I can tell you personally that I have read some wonderful blogs written by the most beautiful and talented women. I have read about their outstanding marriages, watched their ridiculously cute children grow up, and seen some of the most awesome talent showcased on these blogs. And, admittedly, I have walked away from these blogs feeling inspired. But, I have also walked away feeling a little more insecure and inadequate about my own life and my own talents. I could never figure out how these women did it...their lives seemed so perfect. How is their photography so flawless, when I feel like mine is so sloppy all the time? How can they look so cute in all those outfits, when I more often than not reach for sweats, and have fallen into the bad habit of simply tying my hair up almost every day? I don't think for a minute that any of these woman had ever intended on making me, or anyone else feel that way. But it was just so hard for me not to compare myself, and wonder what in the world I was doing wrong.

It wasn't until I started writing my own blog that I realized how all of these other women "did it"... how they always had such a perfect and beautiful life...the answer, they didn't. That's the simple truth. But their blogs showcased their lives so flawlessly that it's easy to understand why one would think they lived a perfect life. And that's okay, if that's the direction they choose for their blog. After all, it is their blog. To be honest, that's kind of the direction my blog has taken so far. But here's the truth...I don't have a perfect life. And I am sorry if I have portrayed that and in any way made any of my readers feel inadequate.

That was truly not my intention.

Believe me, I am in no way perfect. I am really hard on myself. I don't have tons of self confidence. It's hard for me to see my own talents, and feel proud about those talents.

I don't have an absolutely perfect marriage. Who does? I have an amazing husband that I love with all my heart, but we've had, and still have, our ups and downs. We have our trials. We've actually been through a big trial this past year that has caused a large financial and emotional strain on both of us. It's been hard.

I have fallen off the workout bandwagon and I simply can.not.get.back.on. Because I can't do it all. I am not the perfect mother and the perfect housewife that can work full time, squeeze in a workout everyday, and have a gourmet meal on the table. I try, but more often than not, I fall very short.

My intention is not to turn my blog into an absolutely depressing memoir that harps on all of my imperfections. But I am also not going to purposefully portray my life as perfect. I do want to capture and remember the happy moments of my life. That's one main reason why I blog. But life has it's ups and downs, and how will I ever truly cherish the ups, without chronicling some of the downs as well?

I challenge you to do the same...make an effort to create a little more transparency when you blog. Share some of your disappointments with us. The blogging world is an awesome community, and you might be surprised how therapeutic it can actually be to read the encouraging words that your readers will post for you.


Courtney B said...

Dido!! Love this! I started my blog to journal my life with the hubs so I try to keep it very real. But it IS so scary to publish a post that is from the heart. What if someone is mean, what if someone calls me a complainer, etc. That's when I have to give myself a reality check... the blog is for me. If people want to read it, then I'm flattered. If not, that's ok too. Make sense?? :)

Sarita said...

I have written about almost dying, my abortion, my healing, my depression, my abuse that I suffered as a child, etc.... I agree with that. I am and we all are flawed human beings who don't have "it" all together!

Melanie said...

My dear Kyna,

I 've to been giving this thought lately.

I love ya even more now! Because guess what mama... I totally thought you were one of those beautiful, always styled to perfection, FLAWLESS picture taking, gourmet cook. Don't get me wrong, I know you are just as beautiful w/ your hair up, in some comfy clothes! This really touched me, & I just respect the heck out of you. Thanks for this girl!!

Sandi R said...

You know I always love reading your blog and seeing all the great photos you put up of my sweet niece, but this is one of my favorite blogs you've done so far!

For all of you getting to know Kyna through here, you can probably already tell how great she can be - flawed or not!

Michelle said...

This is a really great post Kyna, I also sometimes come away from blog's wondering why I'm a bit of a mess and everyone else seems to be so together. I bet they're all blogging in their pj's with unbrushed hair too and their kids like to behave like howler monkey's (I really hope it's not just mine LOL) xx

Ashley Slater said...

I just stumbled onto your blog and I am so impressed with you and your honestly. Marriage is hard, and so many bloggers pretend their lives are PERFECT and we all know that just is NOT true!

anyways, following you now!


Kaitlyn said...

I love this and i've never really thought about it. Thanks for posting this!

In our sea of love

Christa said...

i love this and live by this on my blog :)

Genevieve said...

I love this! I totally have the same feelings sometimes, so it is nice to know I am not alone. And you better believe I blog in my pajamas and my house is a wreck half the time. ;)

Short Leg Lucy said...
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Amy said...

Love this! Workouts? wait, you mean chasing after a toddler doesn't count? :)

I totally agree...and i for sure know mine is far from it...and those that look to be that way...are lying, cuz being a mom is hard. simple fact i learned about two years ago :)

Jillian said...

Wow! love this! I was just stopping by from my beautiful friend LeLaLa's blog that you featured, and i couldn't stop! I am new to this world and have come to a standstill for this very reason...havent really had perfection to write about. Thank you for the inspiration, and a new blog to follow :)

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